


I'm Here (To Catch You When You Fall)

by Yoko_Fujioka



Series: For Lita [1]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: A/B/O, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Himekawa is a developed canon-verse knb OC of mine, M/M, Medical, Omegaverse, doctor!shin-chan, family emergencies, implied male nursing, m-preg, not all hope is lost, overuse of a/b/o terms, the f/f is for kazu's moms, this is surprisingly plot driven for me, trying to be realistic while having never been in an emergency is always a good idea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-01
Updated: 2016-06-01
Packaged: 2018-07-11 12:54:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7052635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yoko_Fujioka/pseuds/Yoko_Fujioka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A prequel to <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/4479587">Modern Family</a>, you don't have to read one to understand the other but it would be much appreciated!!</p><p>"Somewhat energized by the panic-inducing sounds, Kazunari raced over as soon as his son started coughing, pushing the crib gate down without it locking up for once, but still staring in shock when he saw how bad it could sound so close up. </p><p>The tiny little body was shaking from the force of his coughs, arms swinging back and forth towards his chest in rolls as his face turned redder and redder.</p><p>Hearing the nurse come through the door to observe him, he finally came to his senses and propped his back up, holding his neck to help him breath as best he could….</p><p> </p><p>When his seven week old baby stopped breathing."</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Here (To Catch You When You Fall)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [knbomegaverse.tumblr.com](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=knbomegaverse.tumblr.com).



> yEEeeaaAAAAA POSTED WITH TWO MINUTES 'TILL MIDNIGHT!! *flips the double bird at her own goals*
> 
> LOL so I'm kinda angry at myself, this was done like a month after [Lita's](http://www.knbomegaverse.tumblr.com) birthday, and I actually started it like days before, too! I was super energized because I managed to twist two people's arms into leaving me a review (the power you guys have is real!) but then I started realizing all I wanted to do with this fic (just look at that word count!!) and I totally chickened out.
> 
> Only to then write 10k in like 16 hours because of the power of desperation. It's only funny that I couldn't be encouraged by it almost being june and just leaving it half-assed, I REALLY HAD TO DO IT NOW, AND I HAD TO DO IT RIGHT lol.
> 
> So yea no character death, no worries kids, only extreme emotional constipation, I guess this isn't how most people would act in this scenerio?? But I have literally no experience?????
> 
> Thanks again [to my beta Shio](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Himitsu_Uragiri/pseuds/Himitsu_Uragiri) for getting this monster done after only being warned of how long it was like after it was finished and I was asking if you could beta it. GOMEEENNN. lol
> 
> **IMPORTANT UPDATE 2/28/17: I now have the kids name, since I was trying to super awkwardly allude to them by younger vs. older, etc hopefully this'll make it easier to understand! The boys are twins, Hiroyuki is the elder while Hisato is the younger. I also re-worded some things, but who knows how much that'll stick out.**

It must have been fate that Shintarō was in the right place at the right time when it really mattered. He didn’t usually hang out at the hospital’s main reception desk exactly because all the nurses were such chatterboxes, but he was especially unlucky today in getting trapped by the chattiest one, a boy (yes, boy, he was nowhere near a man) who could put a house-wife to shame with all his gossiping. 

Indulging himself in a sigh through his nose to at least try to keep from rolling his eyes (he had already gotten warnings from the higher-ups about his “attitude”, and though a coworker wasn’t as bad as doing it to a patient, he still didn’t want to test his luck), Shintarō reminded himself to be civil and dismiss himself cordially when an opportunity came up. 

Unfortunately he was waiting on another doctor to retrieve something for him so he couldn’t even pretend to be rushing off, and while he thought it was just Kazunari who could tell he was lying, apparently even a child could. 

It was a literal godsend when he saw a blur of color moving out of the corner of his eye, although he was admittedly startled when they put considerable force into slamming their hands on the counter-top.

“Please, please you have to help us!!” a familiar voice cried desperately, as if this was a police station or something. Shintarō’s first reaction was to assume this was a repeat patient and immediately kicked into high gear, but when he looked, almost in slow motion, to see Kazunari standing before him, more distraught than he had ever seen him in all their time together, he felt his heart drop right past his stomach and down to his feet.

Thankfully his immediate question was answered when he noticed the twins quite literally on Kazunari’s person, slung across his chest and back in the comfy little hammocks they had bought for travel convenience.

Quite honestly they was mostly used so their parents could have romantic walks from time to time, but today neither boy looked sleepy or even calm, when they were usually relaxed by the heartbeat, warmth and gentle movements. Across Kazu’s back Hisato was sobbing uncontrollably, while on his chest his elder twin seemed to be nearly shaking with the effort of the terrible cough. Soon his brother followed suit, and Kazunari panicked in a millisecond, trying so hard to rock them gently and shush them with quiet murmurs, but in the end he just looked up at the two professionals with a look in his eyes like he hadn’t slept in weeks. Shintarō would have believed it, too, if he hadn’t tucked his lover into bed just last night, having found him asleep on the kitchen table.

Kazunari, upon waking up, claimed that he had _“just meant to shut my eyes for a moment.”_

Waiting up for him was not a new habit of Kazunari's, so Shintarō hadn't even given a thought to doing more than scolding for the bad habit he had eased himself into. Exactly because of that it took a scene like this to even bring up the POSSIBILITY that Kazunari had had troubles sleeping for some reason or other. Their relationship was solid, and he knew Kazunari often put a cheerful front of self-reliance up, but he couldn't help but feel like he had been deceived, just a little bit.

More shuffling sounds made the taller man blink back to see a nurse (the receptionist must have called for her while he was out of it) with a wheeled cot approach his family. The smile on her face could be described as nothing less than gentle as she took the children and explained (to Kazunari first, although Shintarō made sure to put his arm around his mate’s shoulder, telling both him and the nurse they were in this together) that the twins would be taken to the ICU and they could wait there for more updates. 

Both boys were already crying whenever they weren’t coughing, but as soon as they seemed to realize that they were being taken away from their mother, they started screaming with all their remaining strength, an equally painful sound and sensation as both parents tried their best to calm them down. The boys were usually so happy, but they seemed completely unaware of the peek-a-boo or silly faces that would usually make them crack a smile, if not laugh, in seconds.

At least the nurse was a professional, both in terms of medicine and dealing with sick children, so she quickly reminded them that she needed to hurry off, and that everything was going to be okay, the boys were just a little confused and probably scared at the moment but they’d tire themselves out.

Kazunari had been panting when he had first come up to the desk, but only now did Shintarō see how weary he truly was, legs trembling before quickly failing him entirely. Shintarō at least noticed at the right time to gently ease the omega to sit down and cradle his head against his chest, stroking black hair soothingly before pressing a kiss to his temple.

“It’s going to be fine, I promise” He whispered gently, and although he wasn’t crying, that phrase made Kazunari’s breathing hiccup like he was.

“What are we going to do if we lose them? How are we supposed to deal with that sort of thing twice?” Even without much strength in his body it was still there in his voice, and although that was one of the things Shintarō loved most about his husband, now it made his heart ache.

They never spoke of the miscarriage, and Shintarō knew there was a reason why, but he so badly wanted to say that this wasn’t the same thing, wasn’t completely out of their hands like that had been. Kazunari was in such good health and they had both done such large amounts of research that there likely wasn’t a single thing they could have changed to save that child, but for those that were already born, medicine for almost everything existed!

Shintarō knew better than anyone that there weren’t always solutions, and that you couldn’t save every single patient to ever walk into your care, but the last thing he wanted to think about was losing these two. They might have never gotten to know their first child, but it hadn't taken those two long at all to make their way into a big part of their hearts and their lives. Shintarō could recite which toys and games they liked most, their favorite songs, all off the top of his head the very second you asked, and he didn't doubt that Kazunari was the same.

All Shintarō had done was caress the back of his mate’s hand, entirely lost in thought, but Kazunari still seemed to understand, of course he did, and he looked up into his mate’s eyes with a determined fire already burning.

“I want to be the first thing our boys see when they start feeling better.” Kazunari took the initiative as soon as he realized exactly what he wanted to do, grabbing Shintarō’s hand as he stood up in a way that ensured that he was looking directly into Shintarō’s eyes the whole way up, as if daring the greenette to tell him to go home and get some rest. It actually hadn’t even crossed his mind if only because he was so used to Kazunari refusing that it wasn’t his first instinct anymore, but he still sighed as if he lost the battle, squeezing the ravenette’s hand as he returned the gaze, not adding another word.

“I shall be using this time as my lunch break” He declared as he passed the reception office, the young nurse waving him off as if he had known well in advance that was what he was going to say. The greenette barely managed to not click his tongue, instead giving the boy a grateful bow of his head before leading Kazunari towards some seats closer to the ICU doors.

Beside the fact that he worked here, and often had to make himself comfortable on unsuitably shaped plastic chairs in order to sign his name or rest his weary feet, Shintarō had actually sat in these hard plastic chairs quite a lot. From his mother being hit by a careless driver when he was a teenager to the health scare Kazunari’s sister had just two years ago, there was a lot of time, often in this exact hospital, divided between pacing restless and trying to find a comfortable place to sit. The kind of situation where you could joke with a stranger to lighten the mood or even do standup joking about how uncomfortable all mass produced waiting room chairs are, but it was completely different to compare your current discomfort with what you remember it being like.

Needless to say Shintarō didn’t eat during that period, or even fetch his lunch, not wanting to leave Kazunari alone with his thoughts. On that note it wasn’t a good idea to purposefully bring up what had happened while he was at work, either, but Shintarō didn’t like beating around the bush, and was genuinely wondering what could have infected his pups, so although it took some time just making idle chatter and trying to remember how to breath evenly, Kazunari told the story starting from a week ago.

 

Waking up to find the other half of the bed cold and the baby monitor strangely silent, Kazunari could only attribute intuition to the reason he suddenly woke up at 2:12am. It was that feeling, too, that made him quietly step out of bedroom and into the nursery next door, opening the door just slightly to avoid the creak, struggling to get his still somewhat bloated belly past before dodging the rocking chair and other obstacles in the room by memory alone. Making his way to the crib in the far left corner against the wall, his eyes began to adjust in the dark and he just stood there just staring at one of their little miracles sleep. 

Suddenly stifling a yawn, not even sure whether he had dozed off or just gotten lost in his thoughts, Kazunari reached down to caress Hiroyuki’s little head, still in awe of the wispy black hair starting to cover more and more area, only to freeze a little when he realized his son felt a little warmer than usual. Lifting the hairs off Hiroyuki's forehead to press his lips to his forehead and double check, Kazunari frowned and sped-walk to the other side of the room, checking Hisato as well to find him perhaps a little overheated, but not to the same degree.

Deciding it best to separate them for now, the omega rolled Hisato’s crib out into the living room as quietly as possible, grabbing the baby thermometer from the closet on the way back to the nursery.

He checked both and sure enough, their internal temperatures were a little above average, although not by much, and hopefully not enough to be any real cause for alarm. He didn’t want to needlessly worry Shintarō when the alpha was stressed enough as-is, so he decided to only bring it up if the fever seemed to be getting more dangerous, and in the meantime vowing to eat more vitamin c and vegetables himself in the hopes the vitamins would pass on to the little ones through their feedings. Milk was supposed to have everything they needed, right? So all he could do was let this pass its course on its own, he was sure small colds were common and nothing to worry about, even when their immune systems were so weak.

The boys seemed to be pretty exhausted themselves, going to sleep easily enough, so he went to catch up on sleep himself, hoping it’d all just pass before he even knew it.

 

Kazunari felt so bad, in hindsight, for ignoring the signs, but all in all, while not exactly getting better, both boys seemed to be doing fairly well over the next four days. Waking up in the middle of the night for no real reason wasn’t anything new, and although they had the occasional runny nose or quick cough, the omega had brushed it off as nothing more than a coincidence.

A different nurse exited the swinging doors, looking back and forth for a moment before spotting them, instantly recognizing Dr. Midorima but almost seeming nervous when she caught his gaze, as if worried what an angered alpha might do when his pups were in danger. 

Immediately realizing that it’s most likely his scent that’s scaring her, as he had been releasing pheromones to make Kazunari feel relaxed and protected, Shintarō theorized he had likely gone overboard in his own worry. 

Kazunari rubbed a thumb along the indent of the greenette’s knee as he made an effort to calm down, the nurse still looking a little jittery but now at least approaching them with steady steps, clipboard in hand like a shield.

“Please don’t worry, both boys managed to tire themselves out while we observed them. Whooping cough can be pretty terrifying when it’s happening, but in-between bouts they shouldn’t be in any discomfort or pain, and they look alright at the moment overall.” She really didn’t pull any punches, not even giving a greeting first. Despite her timid introduction, she seemed to be able to read how anxious the two were for answers, so Shintarō was glad to have been given one of the few nurses apparently not caught up in pleasantries.

Kazunari, however, was so caught up in what she said, or rather one part of It, that he barely even listened to the rest, and couldn’t be bothered to look for clues into her personality or even how she brought the message across like usual.

Pertussis, also known as whooping cough. Shintarō had warned him about this, made sure he got his DTaP vaccine early in his third trimester so this wouldn’t be something they had to worry about. Just in general the doctor had been so careful, all their high school friends and coworkers were required to get one, too, although they had likely gotten the vaccine already, either for their own children or just the fact that they were surrounded by babies most of the time. So how in the world had the boys contracted it?

Come to think of it, they had gone on those romantic walks and just brought the kids with them, since it didn’t seem worth dropping them off (when Kazunari didn’t want them out of his hands yet) only to come back no more than two hours later. The walks had usually been at night, and not usually in busy places, but since pertussis is an airborne disease, had they been infected by somebody who hadn’t been there in hours?

Shintarō was the one who was super strict about making sure everyone who came into the house was up-to-date on everything, but Kazunari had been super exhausted after his labor so he had just trusted everyone’s word on it. Even worse than negligence, had he directly brought an infected person in contact with his children? Had he failed his pups and mate in a way that could never be mended—more deaths?

Beside him, Shintarō was single-mindedly questioning the nurse on little details and changes, things someone not in the medical field might have never thought to ask. But then again most parents wouldn’t be this clinical, the alpha trying desperately to get information, to not get emotional and push the less important things away. In turn he answered the nurse’s questions, giving the boy’s names and ages. They were just a week away from being old enough to get the shot that would have prevented this, and no. the irony was not lost on the young doctor.

Perhaps it was because he pushed his own emotions away that he noticed so quickly, entire body and voice freezing up mid-sentence at that horrible rasping sound of Kazunari struggling to breath, something like sobs bubbling up in his throat and cutting off the air even more. Of course, for whatever he wasn’t feeling, or rather tried not to feel, Kazunari would experience double of.

“Kazunari, Kazu. Calm down, deep breaths.” He soothed, sliding over and placing his hands on said man’s shoulder, turning his chest toward him and wincing when he saw his face. Rather than just crying, Kazunari was in absolute despair, his face pale, gloomy and his eyes, while not physically moving, seeming to change with his rapid thoughts, spinning helplessly and falling even further.

“Mate” Shintarō whispered, leaning in close so the nurse wouldn’t hear the pet name, tracing Kazunari’s defined cheekbones with his thumb before trailing from there, across his cheeks and up the curve of his ears. Finally Kazunari responded with a weak smile, Shintarō trying to give one in return while trailing the fingers down from whence they came, softer this time in their path.

“In through your nose, out through your mouth, slowly in beats of five” He instructed, Kazunari looking well near ready to roll his eyes but definitely seeming to be calmer once he had taken control of his breathing. Satisfied with that for now, Shintarō kept his arm around his mate, only turning his head when the nurse spoke again.

“It’s good that you caught it so early, that really helps us, and I just want to say your little ones are definitely fighting it, they aren’t going to succumb to something so easily.” She said, exactly taking what Shintarō had wanted but was unsure of how to get across. Damn, he was the married one but had no idea how to say something comforting about _their_ children.

“I just don’t want to have to lose any more” Kazunari confessed, and even though the words were grim, Shintarō could feel Kazunari rising his posture up more against his arm, although partially that was just so he could look the nurse in the eye, his emotions and conviction assuredly clear from the contact.

“That’s what medicine in for. I can promise you we’ll do all we can for them, and in the ICU they’ll be under surveillance so we’ll quickly notice any changes.” It was stating the obvious, but somehow Shintarō felt comfort from the words, even if he has heard the same thing every time he passed the waiting room, and even during his own rounds.

“Thank you. Will we be able to see them soon?” Shintarō had to ask, suddenly feeling sort of antsy, wanting to hold the proof that his babies were okay in his own two hands. The nurse seemed to understand, perhaps she had children of her own, and her smooth face softened even more with a gentle aura.

“I don’t have any specifics of how long they should be alone for, but I’ll go back in the room to talk with my superiors.” She said kindly, returning Kazunari’s smile much more naturally before quickly bowing her head to excuse herself back into the room.

“I think we’ll feel better when we see them again.” Shintarō didn’t know what else to do, so he tried to take Kazunari’s advice and just say what was on his mind rather than keeping quiet, even without any sense of what might or might not be comforting. Kazunari at least turned to him and nodded, interlacing their fingers with some color returning to his face, although he still looked worn.

“DR. MIDORIMA.” A voice, not exactly screaming but certainly stern, echoed well in the wide open hallways, the couple looking up to see a woman around their age striding up to them, footsteps quick, confident and expression unimpressed at best.

“My dear Mr. Midorima, would you care to explain why you left all your appointments for today hanging?” She asked firmly, arms crossed with her clipboard hanging loosely from under one arm and the other hand tapping impatiently on the other.

Shintarō’s wince was not nearly as subtle as usual, and he softly clicked his tongue at his own mistake. He had completely forgotten that he had only taken off enough time for a lunch break, and hadn’t said a word to anyone about Kazunari even coming in, let alone feeling the need to sit with him for this entire thing.

“My deepest apologies, Dr. Himekawa-“ He began, only to be cut off very quickly.

“A family emergency, then?” The woman obviously was not patient, and nobody would believe that she was asking just to make sure she was right. 

“Yes” Kazunari answered for him, trying to make sure all the blame didn’t go to Shintarō. His voice became a bit more firm and formal when he spoke with the beta woman, but it seemed unconscious, like he was just responding to her own aura.

At that the pressure in the hall decreased, Himekawa’s hands dropped to her sides. She even seemed to laugh a little, raising her clipboard one last time to chop Shintarō on the part of his hair.

Then sighed, perhaps a little overdramatically, but finally looked at both of them as she spoke. 

“This is sudden enough of an emergency to explain why you lost your head, but at least think to tell somebody. If we allow people to take time off to help their mates through their heat we can certainly have an understudy take over your schedule, that is if we know about it. It’s too bad we just can’t have these things happen on a schedule or something, if there’s one good thing to be said of heats…” Himekawa trailed off and mumbled, somewhat angrily, that last sentence, but her words were heartwarming, if blunt, so the couple nodded to her.

“Yes ma’am!” Kazunari went so far as to say, and for once Shintarō wasn’t the only one rolling his eyes at him.

“I’m not going to demand you take on more hours to make up for this and miss spending time with your kids, but I’m not going to be as nice about letting you trade patients you don’t like, you hear me?” The beta proposed a compromise, even if she still pretended to be angry, and so Shintarō couldn’t even pretend to be against her proposition. Admittedly the higher ups were likely to have made that same rule at some point, and it’d help Shintarō’s own ideal to get along better with everyone here.

“Deal.” He conceded, not that he really had a choice in the matter, but Himekawa still smirked at him, pleased she didn’t have to do any wheedling, at least.

“Have a nice evening, then, I hope to not see the four of you here together for a long time” She bid them after she turned away, waving the clipboard over her shoulder in lieu of a goodbye, which Kazunari returned anyway.

“The doctor says you can see them now” The nurse’s voice was startlingly sudden even though she stood at their side, in clear view out of the corner of their eye. Still no time was wasted sputtering around about it, Shintarō even tripping a little in his haste to stand up, foot knocking the chair into his way on accident.

Neither man was purposefully matching pace but still they kept up with each other, opening one door apiece at about the same time only for their hearts to fall, even though nothing was particularly wrong, when they got a look at their precious babies.

One was sleeping while Hisato was awake, but even his eyes were droopy, and not just in the way they did when he was about to fall asleep on a peaceful day at home. Both of them had thin tubes up each nostril, held in place with teddy-bear decorated tape. Pretty light in terms of machinery, but it was still painful to see them like this, so tiny on the bed, their faces the entirely wrong color. 

Like their crib at home, one of the gated sides of the bed could be pushed down for easy access, another nurse pushing it down and beckoning them over. 

“You can’t pick them up or move them too much, but here.” She said as they both walked over, cradling Hisato’s head from below and raising his entire upper body off the bed. Even that didn’t make him seem any more awake, and neither did seeing his parents. Kazunari covered his mouth with his hand, making no other moves or noises.

Shintarō moved instead, first beside and then taking her place, one hand supporting Hisato' still weak neck (just like he had been worried he wouldn’t do right, when they first learned they were having kids) and the other just caressing his cheeks and forehead, mumbling nonsense in the soothing voice the boys always seemed to like. 

Sometimes at home the four of them would sit in the living room, and Shintarō would mostly keep quiet and play with them, tickle their stomach and blow raspberries, but let Kazunari do the baby talk, too embarrassed. But then at some point he’d think of something he had wanted to tell the omega, and as soon as he opened his mouth, both of them would look at him almost in sync, eyes wide and mouth gaping with drool hanging out. They both would quickly start giggling, and more often than not at least one of them would wiggle where he lay and reach his hands out towards daddy, eyes sparkling. 

He really was weak towards them, picking them up whenever they gave him that adoring look. Kazunari would always laugh but he no longer hated that “I told you this family thing wouldn’t be so bad” the other always held over his head.

Hisato was drooling a little bit so Shintarō took the soft washcloth laying over the sheet at the infant’s waist and wiped him clean, worry tearing his heart when he saw Hisato's eyes nearly roll back in his head. 

Even something as mundane as wiping their drool couldn’t lull Shintarō into feeling like everything was going to be okay.

Sure enough, his anticipation was so taut it suddenly snapped with the horrible rasping sound of coughing coming from the bed beside him. 

Kazunari got to Hiroyuki's side even before the nurse did but had to stand there, useless as his baby coughed until the nurse got the gate down and pushed him to the same sitting position, holding his head up and airways open with her thumb and index, parents staring on in shock.

“I got it!!” A male nurse came rushing into the room and headed straight for the other side of the bed, getting something the first nurse was reaching for, an oxygen mask which, with the other nurse’s help in directing the head, he managed to get over Hiroyuki’s mouth.

That seemed to help him regain his breath, and so the two nurses withdrew and the parents circled worriedly. Sure enough once the episode was done he seemed quite fine, a little too red in the face maybe but he didn’t seem to have any trouble breathing. It didn’t seem good if that was the only thing they could be relieved about, though.

“I have good news.” The male nurse brought up once a respectable time had passed since the episode, making both parent’s heads shoot up, eyes looking for any hope to be given.

“The doctor in charge says it’s okay for you both to stay here during episodes and even help out. We won’t rush you out of the room unless something really bad develops.” 

Even though it was so ominous, both alpha and mate breathed a sigh of relief, one even they couldn’t say they knew how to rationalize.

Did they really want to be here, to see their children struggle to breath and fight a possibly deadly infection? How could they want to be here only to be ushered out just as their children breathed their last!

Well, the answer was yes, really. Even Shintarō couldn’t say his experience with deadly, fatal, painful to watch and all other types of cases had prepared him for this. But having children could be nitty gritty, and dirty, and depressing, but once you had them you had to be there for every part of it, not just the cute parts immortalized in video.

“Can you show me how you held his chin?” He asked, not wanting to guess from what he had seen and get it wrong, even at the cost of his asking. 

“Hm? Ah, yea, sure!” The nurse was a bit older, maybe in his mid-30’s but seemed like the energetic professor everyone likes sort, flashing a wide, fatherly smile before re-positioning his hands on their son’s neck, opening the fingers first to show his palm before closing them again, thumbs right around the lymph nodes on either side of his neck and under the fat of his chubby cheeks, the rest of his fingers curled around his shoulder and arm.

Then he showed how he gently pressed the thumbs towards each other. 

“Shin-chan, wanna show me how it’s done?” Kazunari asked once the nurse had finished and left, but neither his smile nor his tone were quite right. Shintarō “fell” for the bait.

“Might as well have you learn it the right way before you teach yourself the wrong way.” He heaved a sigh, Kazunari responding with just a “Hey!” before indeed watching his every small action with intent eyes.

When it was his turn he held Hiroyuki with a gentleness he probably hadn’t used since he held him for the first time in his life, the very first person after the doctor to ever touch him, to hold him. At that time, he held his newborn son like this being in his hands couldn’t possibly be real, couldn’t possibly be his. Even though this young life was so fragile it really would shatter if he held too lightly, he couldn’t bring himself to face the truth.

His hands were a little smaller than his husbands and even the nurse’s, but he still tried to stretch his finger’s reach, cover as much of that tiny back as he could with his dominant hand, thumb absentmindedly playing with a loose curl of hair at the base of his head as he practiced holding his chin and patting his back. 

He had more of Kazunari’s hair, in color at least, the texture and thickness may turn to be more like the other side of the family, who knew. But that hair, that big clump of unruly hair on the left side of his neck was exactly like what Shintarō had, and he never could seem to tame it on either one of his boys, it just sprung right back to the way it looked before no matter how they combed or teased it. 

So he played with it, because it seemed to calm his baby down in the same way it used to rile his father up, and Kazunari still couldn’t help the small warmth in his heart, not even from the reactions, but just from the nostalgia.

They went back to the waiting room having seen both of their children awake and being able to talk with them for a while, as well as practice for when another episode happened while they were there.

Funnily enough they didn’t talk to each other much during that time, so unlike when they were at home, mostly just moving from one child or task to another. Perhaps it was because when both of them were given a task they really cared about, they went all out.

When it was just the two of them, however, they pulled the uncomfortable plastic chairs as close together as they could, just one rounded corner touching, in order to talk in low, calming murmurs. Kazunari just didn’t have enough energy to talk at his usual volume, so they had a relaxing chat, about things that happened at the hospital, at home, all the same small talk they might have usually made in the kitchen at the end of the day, either while eating or cleaning something up.

Thinking of it in that context, the time of day and what they’d usually be doing right now, hurt a little bit too much, so they both said nothing of it.

Both of them were exhausted, however, and with the slow down of activity and conversation, both of them fell in and out of sleep where they sat, heads lolled either onto each other’s shoulders or the wall behind them.

“You guys can come in again….are you sure you want me to wake you up every time?” The timid nurse from before wandered back in to tell them, although before he even got a word in Shintarō’s tired glare made her second guess what the man had told her to do.

“Yes, I don’t want to miss spending any time with them.” The greenette grumbled out, running a hand through his hair and grumbling somewhat as his body complained about standing up again. 

“C’mon, Kazu.” He turned, and the other opened his eyes right up when shaken…but was still sleeping brain-wise, Shintarō essentially having to lead him up and into the other room by his arm, feet dragging slightly as he blinked into the lights.

About the time Kazunari was fully awake, Hiroyuki had an attack, and a bad one at that.

Somewhat energized by the panic-inducing sounds, Kazunari raced over as soon as he heard the coughing, pushing the crib gate down without a problem of it locking up for once, staring in shock when he saw how bad it could be so close up. 

That tiny little body was shaking from the force of the coughs, arms swinging back and forth towards his chest in rolls as his face turned redder and redder.

Hearing the nurse come through the door to observe him, he finally came to his senses and propped him up, holding his neck to help as best he could….

 

When his seven week old baby stopped breathing.

 

The nurse swooped in calm as could be while he just stood there, dumbly, holding the still trembling body that soon grew blue as he went longer and longer with the air unable to get in. Because he had frozen where he was the small body was still in a good spot for the mask to be put on with only a little shifting, and it was only when the child was exhaling again did he realize he had also been holding his breath, not even aware of Shintarō’s hand on his back.

Grateful, he ran a thumb along the back of his alpha mate’s hand but still couldn’t get over that still racing panicked feel, pessimistic thoughts running circles in his brain.

“Hey” a voice suddenly says, making his head pop up to see green eyes much closer than he had expected. Usually he would have jumped and then snickered, maybe make a crack or two, but instead he just looked up, Shintarō somehow understanding, leaning down just slightly so that they could press their foreheads together. Shintaro was slightly more okay with public affection than he used to be, but forehead presses had long since been established as their go-to gesture, and in this case it seemed even more meaningful than usual.

The warmth of the other so close, the sensation of tangible skin grounded them and reminded them that they weren’t alone. The unspoken “I love you” in the gesture and both of them knowing what the other wanted was all they could hope for in this moment. 

“Can we get a breath of air?” Kazunari suddenly requested, lowering his against the indent of Shintarō’s shoulder, speaking only loud enough for him to barely hear.

“Yes, of course” He said, liking the idea himself as he gave the nurse there a final nod before leading his husband to the turnabout in front of the hospital, sitting them both down on a bench.

“Kazunari!” a tearful voice cried just as they were starting to relax, looking up to see both of said man’s mothers running towards them, one crying the other frowning.

“Oh darling, I’m so sorry we weren’t here yesterday, is everything with the babies okay? Have you been having panic attacks?” The tearful one, Nobuko, sandwiched her son’s face between her hands, shaking it back and forth slightly, leaning down and pressing kisses wherever they landed.

“Only mild ones, but Shin-chan’s been keeping me calm and comforting me” He confessed, making both women face up and look serious, although Seiko looked more towards Shintarō. 

“I trust you to take good care of him.” She reminded him, glaring slightly. 

“I would never do him harm.” He said, the same response with the same straight face that he had given while asking for Kazunari's hand. Both women smiled, although Seiko stood there while Nobuko released Kazunari to pull Shintarō into the kind of too-tight hugs he still hadn’t quite gotten used to.

Still he tried to at least lean into it, even if he wasn’t quite comfortable wrapping his arms around her. She just laughed, though, and right in his ear at that, the breath sort of annoying the hairs around. He grumbled but said nothing, and the woman probably knew what she was doing but he made no move to stop her.

“Are visiting hours still on?” Seiko suddenly asked, shifting her weight almost entirely on the other leg as she pointed her thumb to the building to the left of them.

“They should be, anyway” Kazunari chuckled. “Have no idea how long we’ve been out here though.”

“Well I’m gonna go ahead if that’s okay.” Nobuka said. “Do you want to stay out here a bit longer?”

“Yea, I was cooped up in that terrible-smelling building for what felt like fifteen years” Kazunari continued, making Nobuko laugh with him.

“Sei, did you want to go in or stay in chat?” She asked her wife, looking over her shoulder. 

“I’ll go in and see the grandkids, I get the feeling we’ll be sitting around chatting for a while afterwards.” She decided, shrugging.

“Are you guys going to sleep everyday they’re here? That’s really not good, don’t make me come back here and drag both of you to your own house.” Nobuko threatened, whipping her head back. 

“Kazunari aside, I’d like to see you try and drag Shintarō anywhere.” Seiko pointed out in the background, making Nobuko’s head and shoulders slump to her chest.

“Rude!!” She huffed, making Seiko laugh as well.

“So when you guys are done, where do you want to meet up?” Seiko suddenly realized, looking at the two men to see if they had any preference.

“I think meeting in the waiting room just outside the ICU would be a more concrete waiting place than just anywhere in this outside area.” Shintarō rationalized, making Nobuko huff with laughter in the background.

“Pffft. Concrete…building…” She barely managed to get out through tiny little exhales. Seiko sighed and merely giving her a sideways chop to the back of the neck, receiving angry sputters in response.

“Sounds good.” Seiko said calmly like nothing had just happened. Nobuko was pouting in the background.

“See you guys in a bit!” Were Nobuko’s parting words as Seiko led her inside.

 

Both Nobuko and Seiko stayed well into the morning despite both having work that day, and neither man could say it had been a bad thing. While the four just talked like they had been doing before, the conversation stayed light more naturally, and Kazunari was finally smiling again, both with the doctor’s report that their lungs were clearing up just fine and his mothers’ overwhelming confidence.

Nonetheless they did both leave a little before the sun went up, spreading affection and well wishes before returning to their car.

Neither Kazunari nor Shintarō had stayed awake the entire time the women were there, but they still fell asleep quickly and at about the same time, in the same position and chairs as the day before.

Around them other people came and left and new cases entered the hospital every minute, but still they stayed right there.

 

“…And it was actually really cute when they realized they liked the same rapper, because if both of them liked anything else I bet they’d fight about it somehow, but when it came to umibozu they just became so enthusiastic and it was amazing watching them bond over it!”

Shintarō suddenly heard Kazunari speaking enthusiastically about something, and, opening an eye, belatedly realized not only that there was nobody new there, but Kazunari was directly facing him as he talked, head down against the wall but not quite looking ready to sleep. Like, he didn’t mean to wake Shintarō up, the greenette was sure of that, but it was cute and almost sweet that the omega was using talking to him, about something he loved (a movie he knew they had seen together) at that, to make himself fall asleep.

Smiling slightly, but not awake enough to say anything or move to pull the smaller male closer, he fell back into a light sleep.

 

“Is he having trouble keeping the formula down?” Kazunari asked, worry more than just laced in his voice when Hiroyuki once again gurgled up creamy white spittle. The wash cloth obviously had more than that moment’s mess on it, too. 

“Yes, both of them.” The nurse confessed, looking up from where she was standing next to Shintarō with Hisato, currently checking his lungs with the stethoscope. 

“His mucus does seem to be clearing up much faster than his brother’s.” She relayed quickly, smile widening when Kazunari breathed a sigh of relief.

“Thank you.” Shintarō said from beside her, although she just waved him off.

“So, is there a specific brand of formula you usually feed them? We have a universal one we use here, but his stomach might be able to tell the difference; even slight ones.” She explained, looking hopeful when Kazunari seemed to have a moment of realization. 

“Oh, maybe it’s because I was encouraged by…some people...to do it naturally?” He gave Shintarō a look, subtle, but the nurse just laughed.

“That explains it, then, they’re often very sensitive to how different formula is.” She added, taking the ear pieces out and winding the device around the back of her neck with a smooth arch.

“Would it be alright if I tried, then?” Kazunari asked, wanting more than just the chance to help, he wanted that bonding feeling again, especially after being so worried the entire time he was separated from them. 

“I think that’ll be just fine.” The nurse soothed, giving him a gentle sort of understanding look.

 

It was a little uncomfortable, having to stand up with a table cutting into your leg while feeding. More than ever Kazunari missed not only the comfort of their house and their usual lives, but the cozy nursery he and Shintarō had put all their love into creating (still early on when Kazunari still had energy to stand and run around and paint his boyfriend’s back). He really wished he was sitting in his super-padded rocking chair right now.

Both boys were starving to the point where the pulling actually kind of hurt, but Kazunari took that as a good sign. 

The coughing was the real problem, nobody stopped breathing but they did cough liquid back up on him several times, which he wasn’t used to in the everyday sense. Still every time they started coughing he sat them back down, Shintarō holding their faces or backs (they switched back and forth sort of naturally depending on who was closer or first moved to do what) and he was grateful he wasn’t dealing with this, let alone the entire thing on his own.

But it really was warm and amazing, being able to hold them close again, right where he always did despite the discomfort of the change in scenery. Even burping them again was sort of nice.

Nearly all their friends from high school came from across the prefecture to see them, too, and although not all of them came in time to see the kids, most of them stayed and talked for hours on end and it was nice, especially with how nervewracking the coughing was, even after seeing it so many times.

It could have been even worse because Shintarō had to return to work that day, according to those above Dr. Himekawa, who came to give them the bad news after they were done feeding the kids and then themselves with terrible hospital food. Shintaro looked like he wanted to protest, but Kazunari gave him a look that said he should go at the same time Himekawa glared, letting him know he didn’t get a choice. 

Sighing from his chest, his lay his hands on his knees in order to stand up from the plastic canteen bench, giving Kazunari a quick forehead touch before following the beta out.

As per his own warning, however, he came to check up on Kazunari and see if there were any updates, synced his lunch break with when Kazunari was visiting them, and overall lost himself talking with their friends until Himekawa found him again. Even though she glared at Kazunari every time she had to fetch him, the omega felt like she wasn’t really that disapproving, or she would have kept her coworker on a tighter leash.

 

“Pfft, I feel like a teenager again, sneaking into places we’re not supposed to be” Kazunari joked behind his hand, making Shintarō roll his eyes while walking in front of him down the same whitewashed hallways he was spending even more time than usual in.

“And for that matter, it is not like I am outright banned from being here…I am just not supposed to be using it at this moment. Or bringing guests. _So would you be quiet?_ He hissed the last part over his shoulder, and although Kazunari placed a hand over his mouth like he was in danger of bursting into loud laughter, he was obediently quiet the rest of the way.

“Wow I don’t even think I’ve seen one of these, it’s actually pretty nice!” Kazunari said optimistically, despite how the room, although out of the way, still smelled of anesthetics, was painted the same white, and sparsely furnished.

It was to be expected, however, this was a room for doctors with too many hours lined up, and was more of a one night deal where the professional in question was likely too exhausted to question the quality of the room or mattress. It was what he’d expect from a cheap hotel, really, except without even the candy mint.

They were in the same clothes they had worn for days, and those were honestly smelly and uncomfortable, but they were so drained that it didn’t bother either of them, even when they had to squeeze as close as possible in order to fit on the bed. Neither had enough energy to do any talking but their actions somehow did, even in the already close quarters.

From his position as big spoon Shintarō hugged Kazunari’s waist all night, and similarly he didn’t let go of his arms, even more desperate than usual for warmth and human touch. A reminder he was still there.

Waking up with about the same kinks in his back and neck that remained from sleeping in a chair but at least no new ones, Shintarō stretched his arms above his head, woeful that he didn’t have a nightcap as he tried to do without a hairbrush as well.

“Up and at’em” Was all the warning he gave Kazunari before nearly rolling him off the bed, thankfully making Kazunari at least open his eyes, even if he was still groggy. The omega wasn't too good at moving or thinking, for a while, and didn't seem the least bit aware of where he was. 

Waiting just long enough for Kazunari to at least make his horrid bedhead look like it was bad on purpose, they snuck back out to the main wing. Shintarō thought someone saw them, but they quickly turned like they hadn't seen anything, so perhaps they just didn’t care enough to cause a fuss, and he was thankful for that.

Knowing that he had to work again, Shintarō merely accompanied Kazunari to the main lobby, although he stopped the shorter man from walking away after they had said their goodbyes.

“Listen to me Kazunari, you need to go home today.” He said immediately, watching as Kazunari’s eyes lit up in flames.

“Absolutely not.” 

“Kazu, please think about this. I know you’re nervous to know everything that happens, and yesterday is proof that I can’t say anything about that myself, but you’re running yourself ragged. I won’t even ask you to stay the entire day, I know you better than to think you of all people would follow directions anyway. Just relax, take the day, buy some groceries you can bring here, some more clothes for us and the kids, their diaper bags, whatever you can carry or think we need. Sit in the house and just relax if you can. I will be here all day, I promise you I will check up on them even more than I did yesterday, and I will call you if anything of note happens. Okay?” He took a deep breath before getting all of that out in one go, and Kazunari stood frozen for a good ten seconds, eyes wide.

Then, he chuckled.

“Make it a call every time you check on them and it’s a deal.” He grinned.

“Are you trying to get my phone confiscated?” Shintarō deadpanned, and Kazunari snorted suddenly.

“What is this, high school? Man, Doc’s gonna be mad enough seeing you skip even more work, maybe that’s enough punishment.” He rubbed his chin as if thinking it over.

“Take it or leave it, Takao.”

“Oooh, back to maiden names, now we’re really serious!” He said in a sing-song voice. Shintarō was tempted to just forcefully ban him from entering the hospital ever again.

“Yes yes, oh noble ace-sama, your wish is my command.” Kazunari flourished with a bow and bended knees.

“I’ll just see if the kids are hungry or anyone came to visit and then I’ll go back home, I promise.” He leaned up like he wanted to give his mate a kiss, possibly on the cheek, but then he just squeezed his hand before walking back towards the ICU.

Shintarō trusted him, so he even held off on visiting the very first chance he got in case Kazunari was still there and might take it wrong the wrong way. By the time he got there Ootsubo Tae was already waiting, and so he had a cozy chat with her before seeing the twins, hearing from the doctor in charge that Kazunari had indeed done what he said he would and then left early.

When he came back at the end of his shift around midnight, Kazunari was sitting in the same chair as usual but there was a large bag at his feet, and he was at least freshly showered and laundered. His skin looked a little more flushed and lively, too, and Shintarō couldn’t help but feel glad to see him again, it was like coming back even if they hadn’t been apart for long at all.

Kazunari took the quick steps as threatening, however, and he held his palm up before Shintarō could even open his mouth.

“To my credit, I stayed there for almost twelve hours, and you said so yourself that I didn’t have to spend the entire day.” He explained, looking ready to have a full debate right here and now if Shintarō fell for it.

“I do hate when you use my words against me” he sighed, apparently defeated, although in reality he was just too tired and happy to go on about how he knew this was coming.

“Here’s dinner, by the way.” Kazunari said nonchalantly, reaching into the open duffle bag to pick out the usual handkerchief-wrapped lunchbox. Never had Shintarō been so happy to see the lunch staples he had gotten used to just because they were quick and easy for Kazunari to prepare while multitasking.

“I was way too excited to just sit there, anyway, are they really going to let us bring them home soon?” He asked, eyes sparkling with both joy and relief.

“Yes, Hiroyuki's condition has been worse since the beginning so they’re keeping him longer, but they’ve been observing them both all day.” He relayed with a smile that only got happier, with how overjoyed Kazunari seemed.

“Just a couple more hours, then…somehow this feels much worse than any of the other waiting we’ve been doing.” Kazunari chuckled to himself, lightly fluffing the hair above his ear.

“Mm. I’ll stay one more day here and continue giving you updates, and we should be able to bring his brother home by this time tomorrow. You go home with him and I’ll take care of everything here.” He promised, surprising Kazunari with a kiss to the side of his head. Kazunari turned to stare at him for a moment, there were other people here after well, even if they weren’t particularly paying them any attention, and he couldn’t help the flush he could _feel_ covering his cheeks and ears. Judging from Shintarō’s expression, he was likely even redder than he felt.

“Yes, yes, mr. smooth talker. Jesus, the things you do to me.” Kazunari grumbled under his breath, and he _swore_ Shintaro laughed at him behind the hand adjusting his glasses.

They were both too excited to sleep so they sat there and talked until it came time to sign Hisato’s release papers. Baby sleeping in his arms peacefully, dressed in a new super-cute animal onesie and placed back in his arms where he belonged, Kazunari was so overjoyed that he pulled Shintaro aside, into an empty hallway, and swooped him down into a fierce kiss right on the lips filled with more raw love than heated passion.

As soon as it started it seemed like it ended, and Kazunari gave him a look with his eyes alone before adjusting his tie and patting him on the chest.

“See you tomorrow, darling.” Was the whispered promise before Kazunari was gone.

There could never be a more magical sound, after nearly a week of fear and worry, than the click of the phone receiver and Kazunari’s sing-songy voice, baby babble audible over the TV in the background. Shintarō didn’t even need the look a passing coworker gave him to know he was glowing.

“He’s ready” Is all he said before Kazunari’s breath suddenly stuttered, green eyes widening when he realized that the man was crying, and for the first time in this whole hellish ordeal. Even the alpha had come very close to crying, seeing a baby, and his baby at that, struggling to breath in real life and not just on a screen for the first time in his entire life. He never would get over how strong his lover truly was.

“I’ll be there as soon as I possibly can.” Was all he said before hanging up, only upset that he couldn’t be there, in the privacy of their home, wiping those tears from Kazunari’s eyes. All the more motivation to hurry, he guessed.

The second half of the paperwork took longer than he’d wished, and he could only speed walk so fast without the baby getting uncomfortable and fussing, but he got to the door, his greeting upon opening it immediately interrupted.

Kazunari must have heard him approach the door as he rushed towards it before it even fully opened, immediately pulling Shintaro and Hiroyuki into a crushing hug.

As soon as Kazunari pulled back he leaned back in, Hisato slung across his chest and reaching chubby hands out to his other half with a giggly gurgle, a gesture which the Hiroyuki returned.

The omega could be mistaken for Nobuko with the way he fervently pressed kisses to every single inch of skin on his two-month-old's face (neck kisses made him giggle and wiggle, and Kazunari had gotten punched by a baby too many times to try that while so close.)

It made sense that he forgot Shintarō was even there, the taller man rationalized, and that was why he was surprised when he was pulled down into another kiss more sudden than he could react to, although this one lasted long enough for him to realize there was something wet dripping down his cheekbones.

Pulling away, his heart throbbed the mere moment he caught sight of Kazunari’s clouded blue eyes, water falling as rapidly as it formed and his nose already bright red, breaths hiccupping in his throat as he looked at Shintarō, the one who had sat along side him this entire ride, like _he feared he was in danger of losing everything._

Leaning down on his own this time, careful not to press their chests too close together, Shintarō moved his lips and angled his face until it felt like his entire face was wet, Kazunari’s thick tears smearing on his face as he did the same to his partner. They swallowed each other’s every whine and murmur, every doubt and paranoid thought, until there was nothing left, no individuals.

_Only a family._

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really sorry that all my birthday gifts end up being really sad even when I don't mean them too...I'm not trying to be a bully, honest~ DX
> 
> Seriously though guys whooping cough before they're two months old is super dangerous, doctors don't even always mention getting the Dtap vaccine, so if you know anyone who's pregnant, 1000% tell them about this shit, saves a lot of trouble if the baby doesn't get it while in utero (because that's sad to think about). 
> 
> This entire fic was first inspired when I saw [this documentary on TV](http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/body/vaccines-calling-shots.html) like aaallll the way back in September. The idea kinda just flashed in my head, you know? So I did quiiite a lot of research, and bookmarked all the pages including personal stories so message me if you'd like them~~~
> 
> (I also literally tracked my mom down in the house and like asked her 20 questions about whether it's normal for breast-fed babies to throw up and allll that fun stuff. It was nice that she still remembered and was a easy source, though lol)
> 
> Comments for how much work this fucking took would mean neptune and uranus to me LOLOLOLOL


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